


All I want

by Sasy_B



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Birthday Sex, Couch Sex, Emotional Baggage, First Time, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Sexual Inexperience, time skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:34:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasy_B/pseuds/Sasy_B
Summary: It has been over a year since the last time Gon and Killua have seen each other and neither one of them could be more excited to be back in York New City together. after all, they have a lot to catch up on and few words to share between them.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 5
Kudos: 163





	All I want

**Author's Note:**

> hello. I only just finished watching this anime last week and could not stop thinking about reunion and cute boys doing cute things. sorry if sometimes it moves a bit inconsistently... i wrote this in he total span of 4 days and only kinda sorta edited this sooooo...

Alluka was fast asleep in the next room, Killua and Gon had been talking and laughing and babbling nonsense at each other into the dimmest hours of the night, the presence of time long lost to the two young men. 

They had already had a number of complaints from other hotel residents about all their noise so both boys made it an extra point to stay quiet, just so they didn't get kicked out, since Alluka could sleep through pretty much anything.

It was hard not to be rowdy, though. Killua watched on as Gon jumped back and forth between what felt like four completely different stories at once. He was only barely listening, junk food in hand, the context of the current tale was long lost and the point had been well made several hours ago but that was of no relevance here. 

This was, after all, the first time in over a year they had seen each other face to face since parting ways.

“--And that’s when this huuuuge monster jumped out of the water and nearly took my arm off,” Gon said, waving his hands around to emphasize his point, “but it turns out it was only after me because I still smelled like that nasty wild boar and…”

The words themselves faded away into the background of the moment, Killua was lost in listening to the sound of Gon's voice.

The two friends kept up often, of course, texting, calling and sharing stories from their travels as frequently as they could. That was not the same as catching up in person though. Now Killua was wrapped in the moment of being in the same room as his best friend, being able to see his expressions and know when his tone and his body language were telling two completely different tales.

“...Killua, are you listening to me? You’re not getting tired already, are you?”

With that, Killua was snapped out of his thoughts and back into the moment. 

“oh, yeah. Wild boar tried to eat your leg, go on.”

“That’s not what I said at all!”

“I’m kidding, Gon,” he lied, with a smirk. “Really, I don’t wanna turn in just yet anyway.” Killua reached for another bag of candy. His fifth, it would seam, and chopped down.

“Good! Me either. But you'd better pay attention or I'm not talking to you anymore!” Gon’s grin was just as genuine as ever, exuding a kind of happiness that was undeniably contagious. 

Gon looked a bit different than he had the last time they had seen each other, Killua found himself mentally comparing his memories to the present image before him. Gon's shoulders had filled out a bit and his voice hit just a few notes deeper. Killua thought he could say the same for himself, but it seemed Gon had finally gained an inch or two on him. otherwise he was just the same headstrong, goofy, weirdo he had come to love.

“Killua, what are you staring at?”

“None of your business.” He turned up his nose.

“hey, Killua.” Gon's tone changed so quickly it nearly gave Killua whiplash.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Your birthday is coming up soon, isn’t it?”

“...Yeah, in like, a month? What’s this all of the sudden?”

Gon’s grin grew twice its original size as he waited for Killua to get the hint.

"Oh!" Killua gasped. "That means it's around your birthday now, right?"

"Bingo!" Gon laughed.

"Man, I can't believe we actually made it to 16… there were times I never thought I would make it past 13."

"Aw, you're always so worried," Gon poked, "We're here now, isn't that awesome!"

Killua would not use the word awesome to describe the road they've walked but he knew that wasn't Gon's point.

Regardless, "whatever you say, man." Was all he could think to say.

"So!"

"... so?"

"What's my birthday present?" Gon said, with a cheeky smirk.

"I'll give it to you tomorrow."

"You don't have one?" Gon acted scandalized.

"Like I remembered what month it was before you asked!" Killua rolled his eyes.

"No fair. I remember when your birthday is! I already know what I'm getting you."

"Whatever, dude. What do you want then?"

Gon crossed his arms and poked out his lip in mock contemplation.

"What do you want to give me?" he shot out.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm your best friend, right? So what do you think your best friend would like for his birthday?"

"That doesn't make sense, dude. just tell me what you want already! I'll get you anything if it'll make you shut up."

_"Annnything?"_

"No. I take it back. I can already tell I wont like whatever it is you want so I'll figure out something else on my own."

"No take backs!"

"Shut up dude you're acting weird."

"You're acting stubborn!"

"Fine! Whatever… what would you like, Gon?"

"A kiss!"

…

Killua's face lit up a bright red. Of all the things he was definitely not expecting Gon to say, that was the last thing Killua thought would come out of his mouth.

"No." He said simply, trying to play off his embarrassment at the inquiry, though the dusting on his cheeks remained.

"No take baaaaacks!" Gon pouted like a little kid, flailing his arms and scrunching his nose.

"As if! Who would wanna kiss you?"

"Anyone! I'll have you know back home I had all kinds of ladies lining up to kiss me!"

"Yeah, old lady cougars from stinky old fishing ships!"

There was a noise in the next room, both boys hushed themselves and turned quickly to make sure they didn't wake Alluka with their arguments. Luckily, she seemed to remain fast asleep.

Gon turned his attention back to Killua, pointedly lowering the volume of his voice just a bit.

"Just one little kiss. Just one. Come onnnnnnn… it's my birthday after all." Gon continued to pout, face exaggerate with big round eyes and puckered lips.

"Fine, fine! And then you'll shut up about it?" Killua's flush deepened.

Gon shook his head vigorously as a smile spread across his face again. "Yep! Just a kiss." 

"ONE kiss?" Killua leaned in with a pointed finger and a raised eyebrow to make sure they were both on the same page.

"Mhm!" Gon leaned in as well. "Just one kiss on the lips."

The increased proximity made Killua flinch but he knew there was no escaping this now.

He took in a deep breath and scooted in until their faces were just inches apart, noses almost touching. Killua held his breath.

His first mistake was looking Gon in the eye.

"Hang on!" He almost yelled, but quickly corrected his volume. "y- you need to close your eyes. Otherwise it's even more gross."

"But, Killuaaaaaa..."

"No, close your eyes or it's not happening!"

Gon didn't reply, just pouted out his lip another moment before slowly letting his eyelids fall and waiting patiently on the other side of the couch.

Killua took a deep breath, steadying himself. This was his catalyst, he knew that even now. He had to be careful or his delicately crafted borders were going to rend within him before he could stop it.

He told himself not to overthink it, that was hard. He loved Gon, he knew Gon loved him. But was it the same kind of love? He was always too afraid to ask. Illumi had long since drilled into him the idea that love was equal to fear and that Killua was undeserving of both.

It was only when Gon reached out with his hand, placed it firmly on top of Killua's, and squeezed in reassurance that Killua found his ground again. Solid and unwavering as ever, Gon could always tell when Killua needed an extra little push to get him through.

And it worked. Killua swallowed thickly, and moved in close, he could feel Gon's hot, even breath on his face, he stared at his lips, mouth drying out along with his nerves.

_Now. you have to do it now._

He leaned in only barely ghosting his lips over Gon's before pulling back. Gon's eyes snapped open and Killua's face was a cherry atop his body.

"That wasn't a kiss."

"Shut up, it was too!" 

Gon didn't persist in the argument, he simply leaned forward, wrapped an arm around Killua's neck, lacing his fingers delicate but firm in his hairline and pulled him in. Gon pressed their lips together, Killua gasped, the kiss itself was soft but to him it was suffocating. His limbs went numb and his back was rigid. Gon kept it shallow but made his point clear. 

In reality, it didn't last long, 3 maybe 5 seconds. But Killua felt it echo through his bones in a way that made time stop and simultaneously start again at full speed.

Gon barely pulled back, it was just enough to give them air, Killua's eyes were blown wide and Gon pressed his forehead to his, massaging the back of his head to try and calm him.

It did the opposite.

It happened, he thought, it really happened.

It wasn't enough. Killua wanted more, so much more. Confessing that to himself was his second mistake.

He didn't know how to say it out loud though, wasn't sure he wanted to. Luckily, he didn't have to. Gon leaned back in, eyes open and aware, making sure the whole time that this was still okay with Killua. That he wasn't crossing a line. He only relaxed again when Killua let his own eyes flutter closed at the caress of skin and tilted his head slightly to meat Gon's movements.

They parted naturally after another moment, both gasping for air, lips swollen and cheeks only dusted a light pink.

"I- I, Gon… I just--"

"Its okay, I know."

"No… Gon I d-don't think--"

"Do you still trust me, Killua?" 

Killua's mouth ran dry once again. of course he trusted Gon, it was himself he didn't trust, it was the way his body ached for more now that he's gotten just a small taste.

Killua knew he did want more, he just couldn't trust his voice. So instead he nodded his head in quick short bursts, never losing eye contact. 

Mistake number three.

Gon understood, wrapping his arms around Killua's shoulders and enveloping him in a firm hug. Killua placed a hand on Gon's side and braced himself on the couch with the other, letting the warmth sink in.

Gon turned his head toward Killua, eyes showing something darker waiting just behind a single closed door.

"Stop me any time, okay?"

"Y- yeah…" _he wouldn't dare._

Gon pressed chaste kiss to Killua's cheek and then another trailing along the form of his jaw before coming back up to meet his lips again. This kiss was deeper than the last two, their mouths slotted together nicely but Killua's inexperience showed in the way his jaw tensed and his breath hitched with each push and pull Gon made.

"I'm sorry." Gon pulled back suddenly.

"Wh--"

"For ever hurting you. At all. For ever making you feel anything less than everything you need to be. For always being so selfish. For not telling you sooner how… how much it means to me that you know how much you mean to me."

"... Gon, you dumbass. you aren't making any sense." Except that he was, and it sent Killua soaring.

_Tell him._

"I mean that you have always been the best thing to happen to me."

_You have to tell him._

"You kept my feet on the ground when my head was screaming for the clouds."

_Tell him he's got it wrong._

"You're my rock, Killua."

"No." Killua buried his face in Gon's shoulder, holding back a tremor.

"Huh?"

"I- I mean… no. You, y-you mean so much more... to me." Killua's hands were shaky where he gripped onto Gon's shirt like his life depended on it. "You have no idea."

"I know."

It was such a simple statement but so very, very true. Gon wrapped his arms tightly around Killua and pushed them both down to the cushions bellow.

"I know already so you don't have to force yourself to say it."

"But I--"

"I love you too, Killua. And that's okay."

Killua finally exhaled ragged. the confirmation was like a sharp knife slicing cleanly through the hardened, rusty chains of his enclosed mind. Gon's every touch left him speechless and light headed.

"Killua."

"... hm."

"I'm going to kiss you again. Can you open your mouth for me this time?"

"I don't know--"

"Please?"

"... Y-yeah."

Gon pushed himself up, hands bracing on either side of Killua so he could more easily hover above him. Killua wasn't looking at him, chin turned in and eyes locked away on some object on the other side of the room. Gon looked up, checking the open doorway leading to where Alluka slept, just to make sure she was still there fast asleep.

When he confirmed she was still out, he lifted a hand, grazed a thumb over Killua's bottom lip and tugged on it gently. Gon watched his mouth part with wrapped attention. His lips were still rosy and swollen and so, so tempting. 

Gon dived in again, this time with purpose. letting his tongue explore as it pleased. Killua did his best to stay relaxed but that also meant that his tongue sat limp in his mouth while Gon had his way with him. It was hard to not jump him. To not take over and ravage him. But Killua was nervous and scared of wanting to know what Gon was capable of.

The kiss dragged on. Gon slotted his body back in against Killua's and tentatively let his hands roam; through killua's hair, over his shoulders, down his arms and rib cage… With every drag of Gon's skin on his, he seemed to grow more restless and Killua didn't know why. This was his idea, Gon was having his way with him without a fight. What more did he want?

Gon pulled back so suddenly it made Killua gasp. 

"Killua, you aren't doing anything." He whispered almost angrily into Killua's still open mouth.

"What am I supposed to do…?" He swallowed thickly.

_Don't say it._

"You're supposed to--" 

_Don't say it._

"--Touch me… and kiss me back. Or do you not want this?"

_Damnit._

Gon moved as if to pull back completely but Killua caught him in an instant, wrapping his arms and legs around Gon's body and heaving a gasp as he let himself fall farther into the desire to touch, to hold.

"I've never done this before," his voice was surprisingly steady. "If… we keep going… I don't know what I'll do to you. I don't want to hurt you by mistake."

"It's okay, Killua. You could never hurt me, even if you wanted to so let go of all that mess you're thinking about. Let your body tell you what feels good and what doesn't and we can try this together. I've never done anything more than kissing, but if you want to... well, anything is okay, because it's you."

That was what he was waiting for. The words that eased his aching bones. Neither of them were good at talking so they adapted to each other, learning the subtle cues that lead them both to the right conclusion. But there were times when nods and gestures weren't enough, that's when things got lost.

Now though, now Gon made it a point to clarify so that Killua knew for sure he was ready and waiting for him; That Gon was ready to move forward with him.

The next thing Gon knew, he felt the scrape of teeth on his collarbone and nails digging into his shoulder blades. 

"Lets get on with it then," Killua rasped. "I'm tired of waiting."

There were no more words shared between them. Just questioning glances and incoherent affirmations between deep, heady kisses that left their heads spinning. a push here, a shove at clothing there, it was so, so much.

Gon parted for a second, only long enough to remove his top before crashing back into Killua. They were spiraling now. The space was lost to both as Killua finally grew bold, allowing his hands to roam Gon's exposed chest. He traced tentative expressions of lust into Gon's deepened skin before letting his palms press fully against the flesh. It made Gon gasp, goosebumps spread over his shoulders and down his arms, causing a blush to make its way across his otherwise even skin.

Gon peered down at Killua and slowly pushed his hands under his shirt. Killua shivered, he never knew he was this sensitive everywhere… Maybe it wasn't that he was sensitive, or rather that Gon made him feel things he didn't know he could. Places he had touched himself before had never felt so good as they did now; his chest, his neck, his hair. It sent lightning bolts through his body.

Gon watched Killua squirm at his touch, pulling at his wrist when Killua's hand shot up to cover his mouth. Gon shot him a wordless look saying let go, and Killua slowly moved his hand.

Gon's breath caught in his throat at the sight before him: Killua's shirt was hiked up over his chest, his hair was a tangled mess and his skin was constantly flushed a deep pink. He was biting his lip, drenched in their combined saliva, and his eyes were unfocused slits as he watched Gon above him.

There was something in Gon's eyes then. Killua only saw it flash by for a fraction of a second but it was there and then quickly replaced by something more direct, a questioning gesture that made Killua feel all too self conscious.

Gon slid the fingertips of his free hand up Killua's expertly toned abdomen, watching carefully the rise and fall of his ragged breath, and then promptly dragged it back down over the expanse of his body. When his calloused hand reached Killua's hips and ultimately the waistband of his pants, Killua gasped, only barely managing to stifle a groan as his hips rutted up involuntarily towards Gon in search of more contact.

Killua quickly covered his face in embarrassment, he was unsure of what just happened but he didn't like it. He wasn't in control at all anymore and it was starting to scare him.

"Beautiful." He heard Gon whisper, it didn't help to curb his embarrassment but hearing that single word reminded him that this is just Gon. That even when he isn't in control, at least Gon is there beside him.

Gon's breath started to quicken as he let his hand drift lower. He kept his determined eyes fixed on Killua's face to make sure it was okay, and his other hand pressed down on Killua's wrist. Gon slowly traced his thumb over Killua's growing arousal and before Killua could react, Gon was baring his own hips down to meet Killua's.

Killua's free hand shot up to Gon's shoulder and dug his fingers in hard enough to leave bruises. Gon released Killua's other hand from his grasp to steady himself on the back of the couch and it quickly found a new place, pressing firmly against Gon's chest as Killua gasped at the friction.

It was a short sort of movement, obviously purposeful on Gon's part but very experimental. Then he did it again, holding that kind of questioning but confident look in his eye that gave Killua chills. Killua never objected to the movement so Gon proceeded, gradually pushing deeper into that warmth.

Just like that, Gon and Killua had a simultaneous thought, and stopped their activities.

_More friction,_ they echoed.

They both reached down, undoing their pants just enough to expose their underpants before they found themselves scrambling back into each others embrace with a sloppy kiss.

It was more teeth and tongue than it was anything else, rushed and unrefined such as the way Killua wrapped his arms tightly around Gon's neck and hooked his legs behind his knees to give him the best angle with which to grind upward.

Killua was ravenous. All sane thought had left him as he fell deeper and deeper into the embrace. He felt his worries ease away only to be replaced by absolute desperation for Gon. Gon's touch, Gon's taste, Gon's voice, Gon's heat, Gon's heart…

For the first time the desperation Killua felt was not planted of fear, but of lust and love.

He wanted more. _So much more._

His movements were jagged and rough as Gon was focusing all his energy on maintaining the kiss. When they parted, gasping for air, Killua buried his face in the crook of Gon's neck, stifling a whimper.

It was then that Gon latched onto Killua's hips, adjusting him to a more even tempo before moving his own along with. It was only moments later Gon let out his first genuine moan and Killua knew he was ready to die right there and then.

They ground their hips in tandem, when one would push the other would pull creating a sensational kind of friction like nothing either of them had felt before. They did their best to keep it quiet but they were both fully aware that if anyone was still awake at this hour, they would know exactly what was going on in the next room.

Gon was hot, sweat dripped from his brow and onto Killua's scrunched up top, soiling the garment the more time passed. 

Killua felt curious and peeked down between them to see what was happening, the sight made him groan.

Their engorged members were pressed firmly together, still trapped within their underpants. Precome stained their garments and mixed together through their slickening movements as they pulled themselves closer and closer to the edge.

" _Nhh,_ Gon…" Killua growled into Gon's chest.

"Just a... bit more. _Ahh_."

One of Killua's hands made its way across Gon's chest while the other laced itself in his hair. Killua threw his head back as he pushed himself farther and farther along.

Gon was struggling to restrain his voice, the sight of Killua beneath him was no help to his case. Killua was a wash of sweat and ecstasy, sapphire eyes half lidded and mouth agape. His cheeks were rosey and his lips were kiss swollen… It was millennia better than anything Gon had ever dreamed it could be. 

Gon came first. It was sudden and all consuming. His eyes whited out as his body made a complete stop. It startled Killua, the way Gon's breath stuttered as he tried not to scream Killua's name at the top of his lungs, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed down air, the way his arms gave out making him fall face first on top of Killua…

It was almost frustrating, Killua was ready to pitch a fit but before he knew it, Gon already had his hands cupping Killua's heat between them.

Killua gasped as Gon's hand finally slipped past the waistband of his underpants and took hold of his manhood. He pumped a few experimental movements before going in full force. Killua's back arched as the over stimulation set in and Gon brought him to his climax in just a few extra pumps of his fist. His legs shook and his eyes rolled back as he let out the smallest squeak of a moan into the thick air around them.

All at once Killua's body felt all too heavy… And the extra weight of Gon on top of him was no help. He couldn't bring himself to shove him off though, especially as Gon's clean hand came up to brush a few stray strands of hair from Killua's face.

The look he got from Gon was breathtaking, big brown jewels focused solely on him, pink cheeks and sore red lips were a striking contrast to the ordinarily calm and determined expression he was so used to. Killua found himself staring; for how long, he was not sure but when their breaths finally evened out again he found himself suddenly at a loss.

"... N-now what?"

Gon couldnt help but giggle at Killua's innocence. _"Now,"_ he smiled that perfect smile that meant so much light. "We can cuddle."

Somehow, that was the most embarrassing idea Killua could have ever heard.

"Whatever."

Gon fell asleep first. Neither one of them had mustered the strength to move off the couch so, after they had managed to clean themselves up just enough, they settled back into each other easily.

Killua felt himself nodding off soon after, he stroked a hand through Gon's mused hair idly as he let his eyes slip closed.

"Love you, too." He mumbled into the silence, before slipping off to sleep.

When he woke again the sun was already up, and so was Gon.

He sat upright and stretched his aching limbs over his head and looking drowsily around the room in mild confusion at the morning haze.

...or should he say, afternoon haze. Gon was on the other side of the room, sharing tea with Alluka. Both brightened as soon as they noticed Killua stir.

"Good morning, big brother!" Alluka greeted cheerfully.

"Hey," Killua replied, "What time is it?"

"Just past noon," Gon chimed, "Alluka and I agreed, we had ever seen you sleep so deeply before so we didn't want to wake you… You feel okay?"

"...ah, just a bit stiff from sleeping on the couch but, yeah, I feel pretty great." Killua flushed, thinking about all the other reasons he might be sore but he certainly couldn't talk about that in front of Alluka. He would just have to corner Gon and complain to him later.

"So anyway- how long have you guys been up?" 

"We both slept in until not too long ago," Alluka hummed. "Nanika was gonna get up early and make you guys some breakfast but she forgot so I forgot and only woke up when I heard Gon get in the shower."

Killua hummed in return, "I should probably do the same." He stood, stretching his back farther as he roused himself.

"Yeah, you should get all squeaky clean for our date today!" Gon said.

"Our _what?!"_ Killua all but screamed.

"Oh," Alluka chimed. "Gon said today was his birthday so I told him about how you were gonna take him on a date for his present!"

"And why would I do something like that?" Killua turned away to hide his blush.

"Big brother,"Alluka scolded. "you told me you were gonna tell Gon how you felt last night! Are you a liar?"

"W- wh- I… hey now! I never said- look, Alluka--"

"No buts! No take backs!" She pouted. Killua was tired of that phrase.

"Its okay Alluka! Killua told me everything. You know your brother is just shy so don't tease him too much." Gon winked, a gesture only Killua could see, and it made his heart beat a little bit too fast.

"... Fine, whatever. You're both so obnoxious." Killua turned to leave before either of them could do anything else to utterly embarrass him.

"Yay! We're going on a date!" Alluka exclaimed.

She turned to Gon to give him a high five and they both giggled to each other. 

_What a bother._ Killua told himself, though, he didn't really mean it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> I love interacting with people so please feel free to leave a comment and follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SaSyBanan


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